What is a Controlling Person?

What is a controlling person?

A controlling person is someone who tries to control others in an unhealthy way. They manipulate, coerce, and intimidate others into doing things they don’t want to do or don’t believe they should do. Depending on the type of control they’re exerting, these tactics can be abusive or even dangerous.

Relationships that are overly controlling are difficult to navigate, but they’re not impossible to overcome. It’s a matter of understanding the person’s underlying motivation and learning to communicate with them in a respectful manner.

Controlling people often prey on their relationships, exploiting other people’s lack of confidence or submissiveness to achieve their own goals. They may impose strict limits on your time, limit the amount of money you can spend, and use coercion to make you do what they want.

They won’t take responsibility for their actions or say “sorry” when they hurt you or cause you to feel bad. This can be a sign that they’re trying to avoid feeling vulnerable or insecure, so they’ll find a way to blame you.

If you’re unsure if someone is controlling, look for these six signs:

Inflexibleness: Their idea of how something should be done is so rigid that they refuse to listen or consider other points of view. They expect everyone to think and act exactly like them – even when they’re clearly wrong.

They have a need for their own center of attention: When they ask you about your day, you’ll likely find that they quickly redirect the conversation to them and their own needs. They’ll insist you change your clothes or meet up with them even when they know you don’t want to.

Moodiness: When a controlling person is moody, it usually means they’re ruminating over negative situations in their lives. They might be pondering how they can fix the source of their pain, or they’re trying to escape from a situation that they don’t like.

It’s also possible that they have low self-esteem or experienced traumatic events that left them feeling powerless. This can lead them to use their own power over others to compensate for their lack of confidence or self-worth, Tina Tessina said.

If you’re in a relationship with a controlling person, it’s important to recognize the signs of their manipulative tendencies early on. This way, you can seek out help before the problem becomes a full-blown abuse situation.

They don’t give you a chance to explain yourself: When a controlling person is manipulating, they can be very difficult to talk to. They may not listen to your side of the story and they’ll try to get you to agree with their viewpoint by threatening to leave the relationship or hurt you physically or emotionally.

Their way or the highway: A controlling person may believe that everything must be their way if they want to be happy and successful. They don’t accept other points of view or suggestions and are inflexible about how to resolve conflict.