How Do You End a Relationship With Someone You Still Love?

A breakup is never easy, but if you have to end a relationship with someone you still love, it can feel especially painful. But while breaking up is never simple, there are some steps you can take to make the process less painful and more constructive.

Taking stock of the situation

In many cases, it can be hard to recognize when a relationship is over, even when you’re emotionally invested in it. The key is to be able to analyze your feelings and make an informed decision about how you want to proceed with the relationship moving forward.

Getting uncomfortably honest

If you’re in a relationship and you think it’s time to part ways, you need to be willing to get extremely honest about your feelings. That means examining the areas that aren’t working in your relationship and looking at how you’ve been justifying or accepting behavior or actions that don’t serve you.

Talking through your emotions

Having this conversation can be difficult, but it’s also important to keep in mind that your partner may be hurt or angry about the breakup. That’s why it’s crucial to be able to express your feelings in an understanding, compassionate way that doesn’t involve name-calling or belittling.

Listening to your partner’s concerns and trying to understand how they feel is the best way to have a productive conversation, says psychologist Sarah Sullivan. Having a clear explanation about why you’re breaking up is also helpful. If you’re not sure how to approach this difficult conversation, Sullivan suggests chatting with a counselor.

Set boundaries

Before you tell your partner that you’re ending the relationship, be clear about what your new limits will be, including social events or how often you’ll see each other. This will help your partner feel more comfortable about your decision and reduce stress in their life.

Give yourself some time to heal

After you tell your partner that you’re ending your relationship, take some time to recover and adjust to your new life. This can include getting some rest, talking with friends and family, or just spending more time doing things you enjoy.

Dust off old hobbies

If you used to spend a lot of time doing activities that you now don’t do, try to get back to them as soon as possible. This might mean signing up for a yoga class, cooking something special, or visiting with friends and family.

Surround yourself with support

You’re probably going to be feeling a lot of pain after the breakup, so it’s important to surround yourself with people who will be there for you. This could include your family, friends, or a counselor.

Be sure to be gentle with yourself during this period of grieving, as this is a natural part of the process and will eventually pass. Becoming too resentful or bitter is not healthy, and it can lead to more serious issues down the road.

Don’t hide your feelings or make excuses for the breakup

Trying to make up reasons for the breakup is not only damaging to your partner, it’s harmful to your own emotional well-being as well. Creating an excuse for why you broke up will only lead to more anger and frustration from your partner, which isn’t healthy for both of you.