How Do I Confront My Son About Drugs?
Uncovering that your child is using drugs can be shocking and terrifying. You might have seen grades slip, odd behavior from them or physical evidence of drug use.
Engaging in an open dialogue with your teen is vitally important, so try to arrange it when they are sober and clear-headed.
Be Prepared
If you find drugs in your teen’s room or suspect they may be taking drugs, it can be very distressing and stressful. Staying calm and prepared to address this situation productively is key; in order to do this successfully you must understand how to communicate with your teen about drugs.
Your initial reaction may be to yell or punish your teen for drug use, but this approach will likely backfire and make them even more defensive. Instead, prepare for this conversation beforehand by doing research – this can ensure you have all of the facts at your fingertips while giving you some ideas on how to approach this subject matter.
When starting the conversation with your teen, select an intimate space where he or she can have an introspective and peaceful discussion. If possible, involve other members of your family as this can show them that their behavior affects others as well. This may help show your teen that his or her actions don’t stand alone and help them realize it’s impacting others too.
As part of your discussion with your teen about drug use, it can also help to create a list of rules and consequences beforehand. This will enable you to be clear and direct with regards to how they should respond when they engage in drug use; additionally, this serves as a reminder of what they can expect of them moving forward – decreasing the chance they break the rules or try to conceal their usage.
At this discussion, it is crucial that you emphasize how drug abuse can have serious and adverse effects on both your child’s health and life. Not only could drug use cause permanent brain damage; teens are not legally permitted to consume drugs and this could result in legal problems that will last a lifetime. It is crucial that these facts are presented clearly so do your research beforehand! To make the discussion successful.
Be Direct
Finding drugs in your teen’s room can be shocking and disquieting; from finding one weed pen hidden away on their nightstand to discovering an entire hidden drug stash in their sock drawer. When confronting this situation with them directly and discussing it openly is key; your initial reaction might be to shout or threaten, but that will only push them further away and make discussing the topic difficult.
Stay clear about your stance on substance abuse and expectations of your child, but try not to come from a place of anger. Doing so may cause them to feel defensive or resentful, making it harder for them to open up about themselves. Instead, come from a place of care and show that you love them by showing it through actions such as hugging.
When having the conversation, select a place where both of you can be alone; avoid inviting other family or friends that may contribute to drug use. Furthermore, ensure your teen is sober when speaking to them; being under the influence can limit their engagement in dialogue and lead to further disagreements.
Your teen may be angry that you snooped around their room and discovered their drug use, leading them to ask whether you’ve ever used drugs yourself; be sensitive in responding. Being truthful with them about past mistakes will help them recognize that all people make errors but you hope that they do not repeat these errors in future interactions with drugs or others.
Be Calm
Parents often feel angry, anxious and concerned if they suspect their children of using drugs, but it’s essential that these emotions don’t cloud your judgment or prevent a meaningful discussion with them. Venting anger, frustration or accusations only serves to worsen the situation further – making matters worse as they will likely shut down.
If you have discovered drugs in your child’s room, take some time to regain composure and compose yourself before engaging in further discussions about alcohol and drug abuse. Do your research so you are well informed for whatever discussions may ensue.
First and foremost, it’s important that you speak to your child about the drugs you have discovered. Start the discussion off by telling them how much you care for them and that this discovery has caused great alarm in you; this should encourage them to open up more and provide more details regarding their drug usage.
Explain to your child that the drugs you’ve discovered are illegal and very risky, asking how long they have been using it and what effects it has had. Asking open ended questions will allow them to provide more details as well as address your concerns in an unjudgmental manner.
Your child may attempt to deny there is an issue or offer explanations as to their behavioral changes. If you still suspect they might be using drugs, it would be prudent to visit their pediatrician and have him/her assess the situation professionally.
If your child is unwilling or violently resistant to talk, or they become aggressive and violent during an encounter, it may be best to walk away and revisit this topic later. When approaching them again it’s essential not to include other family or friends; doing so could trigger defensiveness and shutting off. Furthermore it would be ideal if only yourself and the individual in question were present as drug use and addiction can often isolate individuals.
Be Honest
If drugs have been discovered in your child’s room, this should be addressed immediately. Your emotions may be running high but it is essential that your anger and frustration remain under control during this conversation; otherwise it will make it harder for them to open up to you or talk freely; nor do you want to yell at them, which may push them away even further from speaking up and helping solve the situation.
Before discussing drug use or addiction with your teenager, the first step should be to reflect upon your personal views on these subjects. This will enable you to set appropriate boundaries while approaching difficult subjects together with them – as well as giving an idea of what can be expected during a discussion session.
When discussing sensitive subjects with your teen, it’s best to do it privately in order to protect both parties involved. An extra adult may also help, who can act as support throughout and offer safe space if things begin becoming emotional during your conversation.
Before approaching your teen about drugs, it is also essential that they are sober. Being under the influence can prevent engagement with you and could even turn violent or aggressive.
At all times, it is crucial that you remain honest with your teen about drug use and addiction. They need to know that you care for them but do not approve of their behavior, while also emphasizing how dangerous drug abuse can be, including fatal outcomes.
Be prepared for some pushback from your teenager if they find out you snooped in their room or went through their possessions, especially if they feel you spied on their privacy. Understandably, their main priority may not be your feelings; rather they might be worried more about their own wellbeing and effects of drug use on their bodies.
